Challenging the Routine

This tiredness is obviously because of our lack of sleep last night.

And of course added by our activities this morning.

It was just my first day to get back to the track. Since she moved out from our house, I rarely did my outdoor workout. Most of the times, I would just did crunches while waking up from bed. Or did multiple squats in front of the mirror. Everything that would not need me to go outside.

But now, here she is. She will be staying with us for a week, so she asked me to do what have we done together before. I said okay, I would love to. Plus, I need to be fit before March next year. Or maybe before the end of September, too.

We would do walking, jogging, squats, crunches, all the things which can help her to lose weight. But, we realized it is not only about exercise. We have to manage her diet, too. Exercise without proper diet would not get you anywhere. Same goes to diet without exercise. You may lose weight, but to certain point, you will not lose more.

It is certainly not easy to challenge yourself to do something out of your routine. But insya'Allah I'll try to help. In the mean time, I'm helping myself, too!

May Allah ease.

P/S: Ya, I'll try to write in English from now on. Sorry for bad grammar, weird sentences, lack of vocabularies and so on. The learning is in progress.

The Decision

A few days ago, we had lunch together.

Then we talked about a lot of stuff, including work. She noticed my face when she asked about my work.

The truth is, I was down for two days. I told her nobody needs me there. I knew it very well, long before I started this Permanent-Head-Damage thing. That moment I could never erase from my memories, the moment when someone telling others right in front of me, that she/he never wanted me. That person might be thinking her/his words as a joke. But, it was a very bad joke after all.

Ya, I got the options: to strive for success or just let her/him hate me forever.

I never decide.

Then her friends came. They talked a lot about work. About the whole new people around them in their new worlds. About their difficulties to face students and their questions. About how they never teach anyone before. What should they discuss in two hours of teaching? Can they help the students to understand the topic very well? What would be the students reaction when they don't have the answers to their questions? And more.

Till then, she asked me, "Do you still want to be a lecturer?"

We giggled.

May be Allah wants to show me something. May be He wants me to be tough enough with my choice in the first place. May be He wants me to think, if this is the road that I would take, what should I do now?

I should decide.

Me Before You - Novel dan Filem

Me Before You.

Dah tengok? Dah baca?

Novel tulisan Jojo Moyes ni dah berbulan-bulan sebelum filemnya keluar saya gigih mencari. Bukan apa, sebab dalam website MPH kata to top best seller for months. Bila kali pertama saya bertanya tentang novel ni di MPH satu masa dulu, saya terkejut kerana novelnya tiada. Cashier kata, novel tu kat cawangan tersebut hanya ada dua copies saja. Dua-dua dah habis. Erk! Katanya, kena pergi MPH lebih besar, ada kebarangkalian untuk novel tersebut ada. Tapi ada kemungkinan juga novel tu tak ada sebab best seller, kan?

Ok. Putus asa beberapa bulan.

Sampai la trailer filem Me Before You keluar di pawagam, saya masih belum jumpa novel tersebut. Nak tengok filem tu dulu pun tak sempat langsung (dan takde teman...k fine~) Dan bulan lepas, masa MPH bagi diskaun 15% untuk setiap buku yang saya beli kali pertama dalam bulan Julai (diskaun sempena birthday lah!), saya ke MPH lagi sekali. Tak ada plan nak beli pun sebab tak expect novel tu akan ada. Tapi bila berjalan dari satu rak ke rak lain, dan mata menangkap tajuk novel best seller untuk bulan lepas, ehhhh! Ade After You! Sequel kepada Me Before You. Laju-laju mata menyoroti rak best seller, hah! Ada pun Me Before You! Terus grab dua-dua. Alang-alang dapat diskaun, bila lagi nak guna? Hihi.

Ok, novel tu saya da habis baca. Dari segi bahasa, ok..banyak vocab yang saya tak familiar, tapi malas saya nak bukak kamus time tu jugak, kang terganggu pulak proses pembacaan. Ya, bahasa dia quite advanced level punya sastera, tapi ok la..masih boleh difahami. Tentang cerita, mula-mula saya banyak kali stop, rasa macam slow aje..tapi bila da sampai klimaks, saya mula melekat beberapa hari. Kisah tentang Louisa Clark yang diberhentikan kerja, kemudian mencari kerja yang lain untuk tolong mak ayah dia. At that time, ade satu kerja kosong sebagai penjaga pesakit quadriplegic, yang lumpuh 3/4 badan la kan. Dia pun try pergi interview. Will Traynor, pesakit lumpuh dari paras dada ke bawah akibat kemalangan motorsikal. Motorsikal je, ok? Over je nak lumpuh. Hurm. Tapi kalau kena langgar kereta, mati pulak kan? So, takpe lah, sukati penulis dia lah kan. Haha.

Mula-mula kerja tu diorang macam susah nak masuk kepala diorang. Will jenis yang sangat tertutup dan menolak semua orang yang cuba tolong dia. Tapi one day, something happened yang buatkan Louisa dan Will jadi baik. Dan benda tu jadi sebelum Louisa dapat tahu yang Will ade masa 6 bulan untuk hidup before dia pergi Switzerland untuk menghentikan kehidupan dia. Ok, kat Switzerland ade satu firma bernama Dignitas yang berfungsi untuk membantu pembunuhan diri. Ha, pelik kan? Memang nonsense, sebab ni kan novel. Haha. Dalam masa 6 bulan tu, Louisa kena usaha untuk ubah fikiran Will supaya tak jadi hentikan kehidupan dia. Banyak benda yang Louisa buat dengan bantuan Nathan (doktor Will) termasuklah pergi bercuti ke Mauritius. Mauritius ok! Macam mana lah orang lumpuh 3/4 badan nak menikmati Mauritius??

Haa...tu kena baca sendiri lah macam mana. Hahaha.

Novel dengan filem dia memang selari, cuma dalam filem, kita akan rasa plotnya sangat laju. Dan ade part yang saya nangis dulu before housemate saya nangis sebab saya dah baca novel dia. Aduiii. Dan ya, penghujung cerita memang kami banjir bersama-sama. Nasib baik rumah tak banjir. Nak tunjuk betapa sedihnya ending dia tu dan ketahuilah, lepas saya habiskan novel tu pun saya tak dapat nak move on beberapa hari. Bila tengok filem, lagi la susah nak move on. Haha. Housemate saya siap marah saya sebab ajak dia tengok filem tu sampai menangis-nangis. Nak cover nangis pun da tak boleh. Hello, buat apa nak cover nangis bila tengok filem? Let it all out, bebeh!

Satu je la yang saya nak cakap pasal filem ni. Ya, sometimes, someone's decision is hard for us to accept. Tapi that decision pun bukan sesuatu yang senang untuk dia pilih, banyak yang dia lalui dan fikir sebelum putuskan untuk buat sesuatu keputusan. Kita mungkin boleh menjadi orang yang berbagi pendapat dan pandangan, tapi the choice is not ours. Walau sehebat mana kita rasa pandangan kita lagi betul, pilihan tetap di bukan di tangan kita. What we can do is just supporting the choice.

Dan sekarang, saya baru start baca After You. Tunggu ya!